Who Cares Who The Quarterback Is?

Truth, Justice, and the Michigan Way!

Over the last few weeks, there have been numerous articles about how Michigan's quarterback status is still unknown, and that even a walk-on might win the job. You know what I say to that?

Who cares who the quarterback is?!? JUST GET THE DAMN BALL TO SAM McGUFFIE!

That's right - no matter which quarterback is playing, we're all better off by letting Sam McGuffie work his whiteboy gangsta magic and hurdle, juke, and spin around people on the way to the end zone.

Offensive line gonna majorly suck this year? It's best to give the ball to a guy who can get the hell out of dodge in the blink of an eye - not let a quarterback stand in the pocket to be eaten alive by a pack of defensive linemen and defensive ends.

People might say the quarterback will be inexperienced and will have trouble learning a whole new offensive system. No worries, good sir. Whoever the quarterback is, they'll only have to learn one play - the handoff to Sam McGuffie.

Sam McGuffie is the answer to every problem which may arise this year. Thank you, Football Jesus, for delivering him to us.